Filling the love tank

We all have a love tank and its important to make sure those babies don’t go dry. When our love tank is running on empty we are much more sensitive to anything negative going on in our life.

When our love tank is empty we feel low and unmotivated, so pass our time with mindless screen time rather then getting those endorphins pumping through healthy habits and social connection.

When our love tank is empty and our partner comes home in a bad mood – we get irritated ourselves rather than being supportive of them.

When our love tank is empty and our kids have a meltdown we have an adult temper tantrum right back at them rather than validating their emotion and helping them problem solve.

This means all those little hiccups day to day escalate into conflict and hard work.

It’s important to take responsibility for filling our love tanks. While its nice when someone else contributes to that, at the end of the day you are the only one responsible for your life. So get out there and fill your love tank!! While you’re at it, top up your partner’s, your kid’s, your friend’s, or even a stranger’s.

3 ways to fill your own love tank:

  1. Stop and breathe – spend 10 minutes focussing on your breath to calm the body and slow the chaos that is our mind.
  2. Exercise for a minimum of 20 minutes to burn up those stress hormones and release those feel good endorphins.
  3. Bust out some tunes – music is a great instant mood lifter (assuming you are listening to the right kind of music for you).

3 ways to contribute your partner’s love tank:

  1. Identify a trait you love about your partner and an example of when they have shown that and then tell them about it – e.g. I love how generous you are, the way you always let me have the best leftovers for dinner/the last beer/the pick of the tv stations.
  2. Engage in some physical contact – whether it’s a cuddle on the couch, holding hands in the car or a massage.
  3. Send you partner a loving email/text/letter.


3 ways to contribute your child’s love tank:

  1. Play some rough and tumble games to increase connection, help them release their pent up big emotions, and have some great giggles together.
  2. Ask them about their favourite part of the day and listen with interest to the answer, asking follow up questions.
  3. Dance together.


3 ways to contribute to a stranger’s love tank:

  1. Smile as you pass a stranger in the street.
  2. Ask the person serving you your coffee/lunch how their day has been and actually listen to the answer.
  3. Make eye contact and say g’day to people.


What have you done today to fill yours or someone else’s love tank?