“I’ll be happy when I win the lotto”
“I’ll be happy when I get a holiday”
“I’ll be happy when I leave this town”
The problem with the happy-when-trap is that we aren’t living now, we are just passively waiting for the future, wasting our life away while we wait. Plus, what normally happens with the happy-when-trap, is that when we finally get to that future time/place we simply start a new happy-when-story and thus never feel fully satisfied.
If you find yourself saying things will all be better when… then it is time for you to take action now!
While there is nothing wrong with long-term dreams and goals, it should not be at the expense of living the life you want in the present moment.
I regularly hear people complain about their children not listening to them. First of all lets clarify what this means, because it never actually means my children aren’t listening to me, it actually means my children aren’t doing what I tell them to do immediately after I tell them to do it. So now that’s clear lets looks at why this happens.
- You don’t listen to them
We are quick to notice it in our children but often blind to when we do it ourselves, often our kids have to ask for our attention a number of times before we actually give it to them – whether we are distracted by the tv/phone/ipad/computer, or whether we are just deep in thought, or busy doing chores. Our kids often feel we aren’t listening to them either. If we want our kids to behave respectfully then we need to model that behaviour back to them.