The main thing I believe you need to remember when supporting someone who is grieving is: Don’t try to take their pain away.

‘What?!’ you say, ‘why would I want my best friend/mum/lover/child to be in pain? Why would I want them suffering?’ It’s not about you wanting them to be in pain or suffering but that you aren’t able to take the pain away. And all the things we end up doing and saying to try to stop our loved one’s suffering, typically causes more pain.

For example typical things we say to grieving people:

  • It will get better
  • Every cloud has a silver lining
  • (more…)